Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell


This has to be the way of life of an Aspie, I am convinced. My son has been diagnosed with Asperger’s for the last 6 years. In the very beginning, we were learning all kinds of things about dealing with Brian and his new diagnosis. The first thing was learning the inability to differentiate between social cues, eye contact and making inferences. Next was a lesson in don’t ask, don’t tell.

I learned when I came home from work that my daughter, Alyssa, had arranged to go to a movie with a friend. His parents picked them up, we were to pick them up. I wondered how much time we had until we needed to pick her up, so I asked my husband what movie they were watching. He did not remember. Looking up the movie theater schedule there was a variety of movies and ending times. So, we all loaded in the car and I questioned my husband about how he could possibly let her go to a movie, with instructions to pick up, without knowing what movie or what time it was over. Since our drive to the movie theater was 25 minutes, I questioned this over and over the entire way there. We ran through the list of movies playing and none of them really struck and bell.

While sitting in front of the theater, I turned around and asked Brian, “Do you know what movie your sister went to see?” He immediately answered, “Yes, Kicking and Screaming”. I couldn’t believe it and at the same time, I found it quite comical. He sat in the back seat and listened to me questioning my husband to a level of badgering the witness in a court of law, but never shared that he knew which movie. Mainly because we didn’t ask, lesson learned.

I ran in the theater, found the ending time of the movie and we picked up the kids as promised. This was the beginning of our learning that Autism is very literal. There is black and white, it does not have shades of gray. I still find this rather comical. šŸ™‚

To find out more about Autism, specifically Asperger’s Syndrome, click here.


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