Category Archives: Get Healthy

Laser Eye Surgery – To Do It or Not To Do It


So, I have been wearing glasses since first grade, essentially all of my life except 6 years. I remember vividly walking out of the eye doctor’s office after picking up my first pair of glasses…. I COULD SEE!! So who knows out of those 6 years how long I actually needed glasses. I was near sighted (could not see distance) and additionally had an astigmatism.

Each year meant new glasses as my eyes got worse. And with each year, the glasses got thicker and thicker. I hated wearing them, but never knew how much until I was blessed with soft contact lenses my sophmore year of high school. I had depth perception and when my eyes watered, I could see the water, crystal clear. I know these seem small, but they are huge when you haven’t experienced them before. We had hoped that moving to contacts would slow down the progressive decline of my vision. Who knows if it really did or not, they did get a little worse each year. I loved wearing contacts because that meant that I could wear SUNGLASSES!! Woo hoo!! But also because the glasses did not slide up and down my nose in the heat. Not to mention the fact that they did not fog up going from outside heat to inside air conditioning.

At some point, the soft lenses, although made for astigmatism, became extremely hard to fit where I could get a good script consistently. It was at that point that my eye doc said I needed to move to hard lenses or back to glasses… Have you heard the phrase, “HELL no I won’t GO!!” well that was how I felt definitely about glasses and partially about hard lenses. I had them in my eye for about 1/2 second before I told them to rip them out, and that is why I had soft lenses. But, we all have to pick our battles right? So, I thought well… I can suck it up and try the hard lenses. And so, when they came in the doc put numbing drops in my eyes so I couldn’t feel the discs of hard plastic in my eyes. It kept them in long enough that I could drive home and keep them in for the first few hours I was to wear them. Don’t get me wrong the next day was not sunshine and roses putting them in, but the few hours the previous day was enough to start a callus to form on my eye, which makes them comfortable. So, it was a successful transition. These were fantastic and saved me money. My eyes did continue to get worse, but I could take them to a local place and they would grind them to fit the new prescription in about 10 mins. Pretty cool. And when I got a piece of fuzz under my contact, I could actually flush it out… try doing THAT with a soft lens… it AIN’T gonna happen folks.

And, all good things must come to an end right? You guessed it, as my eyes got worse it became harder and harder to fit even the hard lenses. Going back to glasses was NOT an option. Mainly because I had grown accustomed to peripheral vision and when I would drop my glasses, I couldn’t see them to find them. My husband had to listen for things dropping and come aid me in finding them because he knew I could not see them. I can’t tell you how many times I dropped my contacts, especially with the soft lenses that were clear that he had to hunt for. I asked my eye doctor about lasik eye surgery. He thought I would be a candidate even though my vision thoroughly stunk. My vision was -12 diopters of near sightedness with an additional -5 diopters in astigmatism. So, the below examples are not nearly as bad as my eyes were and you have to mix them together to get the full effect of my vision.

I could be a candidate! Now, can I afford it? Insurance does not cover it. At this point, I was willing to go for it. I budgeted it in my flexible spending account after I confirmed that I was a candidate with the surgeon.

Now, my first visit with the eye surgeon was quite an ordeal. They dilated my eyes… no problem right? Well, except for it was a super duty dilation – it took 5 days for the dilation to be gone. I sat in the dark at work with my computer on low, low brightness. I was a better candidate for PRK as opposed to lasik with the Multiple Sclerosis and the Thygessens Keropathy I have. 98% of people with Thygessens completely remove the issue with PRK. PRK doesn’t put a flap on your cornea… it completely removes it, which means a longer recovery period.

Oh, and I had to stop wearing my contacts and start wearing my glasses. I had to get rid of the callus on my cornea as well as let my eyes return to their natural shape. The hard lenses actually change the shape of your eye to help your vision become better. This started on November 11… and continued and continued for what seemed like forever. I missed my peripheral vision, my sunglasses, the ability for my nose to sweat and not lose my glasses. But, beauty is pain, right? At that point, let me tell you, I just wanted to SEE comfortably. It was not a beauty issue for me. Finally after several trips for measurements of my eyes, it was GO time. FINALLY!! And then the forms… the SCARY liability forms. I was so overwhelmed that I started crying. I am not a crier. I was scared out of my wits! I had lost vision in one eye due to optic neuritis and it was awful, I did not want to end up that way permanently in one or both eyes. But, after I calmed down, I realized they HAVE to put this language in there for their liability in case something happens. I mean when I had my appendectomy, the possibility of death was brought up. I came out of that one okay, so move forward and schedule the date! March 26th, 2 weeks away. Yes, I had worn my glasses for over 4 months… it was pure torture. I so looked forward to being done with them.

Surgery day came and when I arrived at the office, they gave me a Valium and I had a seat. After a few minutes, they called my name, my husband led me back there. There… to the LASER. I was laid down on the table and the doctor came in. I started to ask him a question, really to chicken out, and before I could take in a breath, he had the spreader in my eye and placing the numbing drops. After about 3 seconds, he took this thing – (I couldn’t see it remember?) that my husband said looked like an electric toothbrush and used it to scrub the cornea off of my eye. Shortly thereafter, he told me to look straight ahead at the green light… which I could just barely see. Within a blink of an eye – lol, I couldn’t blink, my eye was held open! The laser was running and I was thoroughly concentrating on holding my eye still as still could be. And then onto the next eye, same thing. They put some more drops in my eyes and I got to take a breather. When I sat up, I could see the clock on the wall!! I couldn’t even tell there was a clock on the wall before the surgery! It was simply amazing, I couldn’t believe it. My vision was not perfect, but with PRK, it is not instantaneous since your cornea is missing… It is a healing period of at least 6 months. Even if I had to go back to corrective vision, my options were open, I could go back to soft contacts if I needed to.

So, it was time to go home. WOW the sun was SO bright!! I put on my bug eye goggles and laid back to rest. When I got home, I went directly to bed, with my goggles. These things were super sexy and if robbed in the middle of the night, the intruder would for sure think you were some super hero fly human and take off running. It was time for putting in drops… eye drops, my new BFF. I looked at the clock from the bed…across the room. I could see it!! Awesomeness. In fact, I dropped my eye drops that ere in a clear tube on the floor and before my husband could get it, I bent over and picked it up off the floor. He was shocked that happened. And now, if we were robbed in the middle of the night, I could see the person without slapping around above my head for my glasses.

This was not gum drops and rainbows quick recovery. It was a process. My eyes fluctuated, as is normal with PRK in general, not to mention my Thygessen’s. (Yes, remember that 98%? Ya, that is not me, I am the 2%. Why can’t I have that luck at good things that happen? lol). But I just used cheater glasses when needed. I had a +2 and a +1 on hand. Now, I can see 20/20 on a good day, 20/25 on a bad day (usually when I am tired). I have saved money on contacts and contact solutions, my cost of eye drops has reduced since after the surgery. I only occasionally use eye drops, less than when I wore contacts. Most importantly I save time getting ready for the day and for bed. No contacts to put in/take out. No eyelash getting in my contact to irritate my eye while I am driving on the interstate. My eyesight is not perfect all the time, but it is good – I can go without corrective eye wear while driving. This was definitely the best decision I have made to inflict pain on myself. I would do it again if I needed to. If you are contemplating Lasix or PRK, go see a surgeon to see if you are a candidate. Ask questions, lots of them. Get referrals on the surgeon. Find out if your insurance covers it. Then make an appointment – imagine – seeing in the middle of the night without glasses, seeing in the shower without having to put contacts in, it is unbelievably wonderful. It is freedom from glasses/contacts.


My JawBone UP Review


So, if you are trying to better your health, you may have looked at the Jawbone UP as an aid to help you reach your goals.  When I got money for my birthday the first thing I started looking at was something to help me reach my fitness goals.  I stumbled across the UP bracelet and it really intrigued me as not only does it track your steps during the day, but it monitored your sleeping patterns too!  One thing I really struggle with is getting enough sleep.  I don’t know why, but it seems when bed time comes around, I am not tired… 😦  So, the next day, I went to Best Buy and picked it up. As soon as I got home, I set it up on my iPhone and the dashboard was ready to populate.

I couldn’t wait for the next morning to do my Insanity workout!

I put the bracelet into workout mode and worked up a severe sweat.  Afterwards I synched the bracelet to check my results.  I quickly noticed one drawback – it didn’t separate out the workout from the rest of the day’s activities.  Another drawback was that it did not have a heart rate monitor so I didn’t know what my heart rate was.  I was really enraged when I noticed that it said I burned only 36 calories that morning! After all, I went down the same set of stairs that I went down the day before, plus another set and did an Insanity workout.  If nothing else, I should have at a minimum burned 79 calories.  Argh…

So, I decided to log my food.  Since I was just a little bit perturbed, I took a picture of donuts and logged that as my meal.  Nothing happened until I rated it, once I put in that I felt energized, it gave me credit.   Hmmmm…. So, I took another picture of donuts, again, same situation.  Then, I took a picture of bamboo tongs and again said that I felt energized…again it gave me credit.

It was then at this point that I took the bracelet off and decided to return it.  To me, this product is a “feel good” thing.  If you truly want to get healthy and lose weight, you must keep track of your calories… not just take pictures of food and record how they make you feel.  Even eating a meal of baked chicken and vegetables is healthy until you each a five gallon bucket full then the amount of calories you ate outweighs the nutrition.  Anything over the calories you are supposed to eat simply turns to fat in your body.  And you should know what your heart rate is during a workout.  If it is too high, it is time for you to slow down.  If it is too low, well, it is time for you to pick up the pace!

So, since it is the week of Thanksgiving, I started looking online and I found a pre black Friday sale on Bodybuggs at for $129.99… $112.00 savings!  I certainly hope that it will get a better review.  🙂  And I hope my review of the Jawbone UP has helped you to make a good decision about what item to purchase to help you reach your health goals. 

Dealing with Diagnosis of Disease

Dealing with Diagnosis of Disease

If you or a loved one have ever gotten news from a doctor that they have a certain disease, below are stages that this person, or yourself, will go through.  It is important to know the stages so that you can effectively deal through them and prepare for the next state.  I relate these to my own personal journey with Multiple Sclerosis, but it could be applied to any other disease.  Please note that they do not absolutely stick to a timeline and do not go in order or come only one time.  Expect them to creep back in once in a while and maybe overlap.


The doctor said What?  It is almost like you are having an out of body experience when the news hits.  Is he talking on his cell phone to another patient?  Is he playing a joke on you? Then you go home and hope on the good old internet for some fear factor.  So many people post on a variety of topics and they are misinformed.  It is kind of like the game of telephone when we were kids.  There is always one kid, (this would be my son Brian), who is the second in line and completely changes the sentence to suit what he really wants to talk about.

I went through this exact same thing!  Not only on the internet but in real life too!  Someone passed away from an aneurism and another co-worker said that the person had Multiple Sclerosis and they are known for having blood clots because they are stuck in a wheel chair.  At this point in time, I was not ready to make my MS public so I just thought in my head… “Uhm, no, they don’t, not even close!  Not everyone with MS is in a wheel chair.  Does it look like I am in a wheelchair?”  But those situations are exactly what you can fall victim to if you are not careful!  Know your subject from reliable sources – Web Md, Mayo Clinic or go old school and ask your doctor directly.  🙂


WHY ME?!?!?  What did I do to deserve this horrid disease?  You become incredibly moody and the swings are intense.  I remember pushing a wheel barrow full of sand after my diagnosis and I lost control of it and dumped it.  I was SO mad, I just kept thinking, I could be completely unable to move this wheel barrow in a few years, I don’t know, but I better get stronger!  People around you don’t understand what you are going through and that is another trigger.  People say things trying to help but it really just makes you want to jack slap them.  For example, “you are just associating that with your diagnosis because you read about that on the internet.”  Well, guess what?  I don’t want to be called a hypochondriac.  I want to be cared for and told it will be okay.

Just know that this is a normal feeling, you have been given information that changes your life as you know it.  Whether subtle or not, the diagnosis is still there lurking in the shadows. 


Dear God, I will give you anything if you take away my MS.  You are not being punished, you are not being given the run around.  The fact of the matter is, and I truly believe, these things happen for a reason.  I believe that my MS was given to me, so that I would realize how fragile life is and so that I could help others believe in themselves and see how a good attitude helps you through some of the tough situations.  Laughter, is the best medicine. 


Then comes the real fun.  Depression.  You have to, you MUST stay strong.  Think positively, think about how you can work to over come your ailments. Just like above, I knew I had to get stronger, I has to take good care of myself to ward off any unwanted happenings.  Just remember that regardless of how low you feel, you have family and friends that love you regardless of your diagnosis. You are the same person now as you were then.  They want to help you through this time.  Don’t cure a temporary feeling with a permanent solution.  Don’t let your diagnosis win – you can’t beat it if you are dead.


Ok, so now you realize, you have a disease, but that doesn’t mean you have to subside and let it take control of your life.  Treat it as if it is a potential threat.  You have to be honest with yourself, but you can’t fear what will happen every minute.  My thought is that it doesn’t matter if I worry about my MS every day.  The risk is there yes, but there is also risk of getting run over by a bus, or in a terrible car accident.  Plan for the worst, be surprised with the good things that happen.  It truly makes you enjoy life all the more.  I know that someday I may not be able to work any longer.  Could be my MS, could be something new I contract.  The fact of the matter is that I only have one life, I only get to live each minute once.  I must enjoy them as much as I can.  I go to work and I enjoy all the people I work with, they are a great bunch of people.  We make work fun, we laugh, we work hard, we get the job done.  It feels great to be productive and it reminds me that I have MS, but it does NOThave me.   I am too stubborn to give up.


My Top 10 Ways to Fail at Dieting

My Top 10 Ways to Fail at Dieting

Well, we all see articles that tell you how to succeed at dieting, but I am a big fan of passing on knowledge, so let me tell you the ways that are sure fire ways to fail at dieting.

1. DIETis a four letter word. Just keep reminding yourself of what you can’t have, that way, you will be like a person going through drug withdrawals, on a binge to find the forbidden food.

2. Select a diet that goes against your tastes. What better way to punish yourself for gaining weight than to select a diet that you know you will not be successful at! If you are vegetarian, this means that you go on an all meat diet. For me, that was the Atkins Diet. I love, love, love pasta, bread, etc. If it has carbs, I probably like it! So, the Atkins methodology was not for me. South Beach, along the same lines.

3. Refuse to eat any candy, cookies, cake. This is a sure fire way to make sure that you end up in the closet with a bag of Oreos, only to be mad at yourself, rocking back and forth in the corner repeating, “I should not have had the oreos.” The fact is that the forbidden fruit is always what we want. Sure, Oreo cookies are not on the prize winning fitness guru’s diets, but we are human, we make mistakes. Why not make a small cheat than an epic fail? A few cookies when they are calling your name, torturing you will be less traumatic than wolfing down a whole bag.

4. Do not exercise. Who has time for exercise, right? Surely if you just starve yourself, you won’t need to exercise? Wrong. You have to burn more calories than what you take in, that way your body uses stored fat as fuel. A good way to burn more calories, getting your metabolism skyrocketing, is by muscle building. Muscle burns more calories than fat, which increases your metabolism. And as you get older, you need to work harder to burn more calories. The metabolism drastically slows, which if you eat the same amount of food every year and don’t exercise, you are goin g to gain weight… just a matter of time. Why not ward off the fat molecules by exercising?

5. It is okay to work out, even if I am not giving my all. Well, if you don’t give the IRS all of the taxes that you owe them, they come looking for the balance due. Same thing with your work out. If you are not giving it your all, you are not raising your heart rate, not building muscle and well, you are not burning the calories you could. Why waste your time working out if you are going to use it as a casual social hour? Make the most of your time and put all your effort into your workout. It is a great way to release those endorphins that really make us feel great after a workout.

6. Hang up an outfit that is too small as a motivation for your sticking to your plan. Great, you get to wake up and stare at a size 6 dress when you are currently squeezing into a size 14. This only makes me more depressed and more likely to end up with that bag of Oreos. This is too large of a goal that is going to lose your interest. Set small meaningful, achievable goals. Lose 1 pound a week and weigh in every week, mark your progress. If you set goals that are achievable, when you lose more than your goal, you are going to feel GREAT and be even more motivated to keep on your fitness journey.

7. Who needs diet and exercise either one? There are pills for that! The pills may help you drop the weight, but at what affect to your health? The diet pills that caused death, didn’t do anything for life improvement – they likely looked great at their memorial service. And the whole idea of losing weight is for a healthier life, correct? Why take a pill that will cause you other ill effects, possibly irreversible, and most of all, it is not going to change the habits that got you overweight in the first place. My friends, in order to prevent the cyclic motions of gain and loss of weight, let’s learn how to lose it and keep it off. Let’s go for life change!

8. Talk the talk, but sit on the couch. Sorry, but this is not the believe it and they will come type of situation. If you want to get healthy and fit, you have to DO something!!Just saying you are on a diet, ordering a #10 at McDonald’s with a diet coke, it really is not a diet, you are fooling yourself. Don’t be a couch potato. Be a change agent, say it, believe it, DO it, make it happen!

9. Only change your food habits, drinks don’t count. Well, again, you can tell yourself whatever you want, but the junk in your trunk isn’t just from food. Pop and alcohol contain alot of empty calories. A 20 oz. Mt. Dew has 290 calories. When you consider the average healthy nutrition plan is 1,300-1,800 calories, you can see where drinking 2 or 3 of these a day is going to severely limit the amount of food you can eat. Two 20 oz. Mt. Dews will take almost half of your calories on a 1,300 calorie goal. I can think of many things I would rather eat for 600 calories. (An apple fuji chicken salad at Panera is 550 calories and delicious.) I stick with water, it is very easy to count the calories in that! ZERO!

10. Tell yourself that you are just destined to be the way you are. Negative self talk is one of the worst things you can do for yourself. You have to believe in yourself and know that you can achieve your goal. Think of it, have you ever been able to do anything that you thought you couldn’t? And you need this to be a strong attitude, because you know that there is always one person out there that will tell you that you can’t. But, you CAN do whatever you set your mind to, so BELIEVE it!

I was always the skinny girl in high school. I didn’t have issues with fluctuating weight until after I had my children. And it wasn’t that bad until I started working full time at a desk job. The pounds crept on, little by little, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I found that portion control, making healthy choices, counting calories and a good consistent workout routine was vital to me losing weight. And when I did, as long as I kept up the routine, kept making the better choices, I kept the weight off. After returning to school to complete my degrees, again, the consistency and energy went to focusing on my studies. Several years later, I find myself in the need for DIET… ugh. And I am doing the same thing, portion control, calorie counting, making good food choices, water, and exercise with great programs from Beachbody – As I mentioned before as you get older, the harder it is to lose weight. This second time, I have added Shakeology. It helps me with overall wellness, energy to complete workouts and less cravings for the O R E Os. 🙂 ** Oreos – evil calories disguised with sweet, creamy filling sandwiched in-between two delicious chocoloately cookies. Nom, nom!!**

I hope that this gave you a few chuckles. Laughter burns calories too!

Are you afraid of MonSters?


Monsters, like the ones that we used to swear to our parents were hiding in our closets or under our beds? No, not those Monsters, however, remember how much better you felt when your parents would tell you not to worry, everything will be okay? Well, that is kind of how I feel about my MonSter.

My MonSter jumped out of my “closet” in 2004 when I lost 85% of the vision in my right eye within 4 days.  I went to the eye doctor afraid I was going blind.  He performed several tests then said it was optic neuritis and referred me to a neurologist immediately.  I remember thinking on the drive across town, “well, even if I am going blind, it is only in my right eye.  I will still be able to see out of my left.”  Then, I just looked around and I burned into my memory a picture of what I saw.  Just in case I wouldn’t see it again… The neurologist started explaining optic neuritis, the treatment, the possibility of eye sight return was positive and that it was caused by Multiple Sclerosis “MS”.  That was like a complete emotional roller coaster.  I went in thinking I was going to go blind, yet am told that I have a disease that could prevent me from walking.  I knew a friend from high school’s mom had been diagnosed with MS and she had been in a wheel chair for over a decade.  There were no real answers either. I could have a relapse quickly, I could have several back to back, I could not have one for 7 years, or maybe even ever again.  They don’t know anything for sure, until you have a problem.  And the problem is anything that your nervous system controls.  If it has been a while since you have had anatomy, your nervous system is everywhere just like your blood vessels.  Whoa!

I immediately had an MRI and started on treatment – 5 days of one hour doses of intravenous steroids, followed by a tapering dose of oral steroids over the next 30 days.  Heard of the side effects of steroids?  Energy like MAD I tell you.  I painted two rooms, I think before and after work.  I made blueberry muffins for breakfast and balanced the checkbook before I went to work – and got there early.  And I am not a morning person.

So, I had been keeping this MonSter hidden in the closet.  I still worked full time, I went back to school and finished both my bachelor’s and my master’s degrees.  I started a fitness marketing business on the side of my full time job.  At first I started for a discount on the product that helps me fight the fatigue the MonSter causes me (another blog on that a different time), but I realized that I ♥LOVED♥ it.  I loved meeting people, helping them get in better health and most of all getting out and enjoying life.   Yet I was still afraid of what people would think of my MonSter.  However, thanks to the Internet, I found a great group of fellow MSers to talk with.  We all have different symptoms, and varying levels of relapses.  I found so much comfort and help talking to them.  Whether you need inspiration or encouragement, the group is there.  I tend to have an upbeat attitude a majority of the time (Remember I thought, well, it is only one eye that I am going blind in, I still have the other one?).  And through those groups, I have had members private message me that my posts really inspire them to think positive.  I am fortunate to be able to be active with my MonSter.  Many are not, the fatigue is a symptom in 85% of cases at varying levels.  I can manage mine, I am able to work, spend time with my family, travel, work out.  But what made me feel the best was not that I can do those things, but that I was an inspiration to the other MSers who were possibly in low spirits and thinking about giving up on fighting.  Wow, I felt like a kid again, like my parents just got rid of my fears of the monster in the closet!  To think I am helping other MSers by being ME?  Then I realized that I am me, I always have been me.  Why am I hiding this, if I can help others? If I can help change the misconception about MS?  MS didn’t change who I was and I didn’t let it change how I feel or keep me from accomplishing anything that I wanted to do.  I lived my life as if the doctor just said, “abracadabra your sight is restored”.  I think sometimes people take their diagnoses and let them weigh them down.  Attitude affects how you feel, have a good one, feel better.

Just because I have MS does not mean that I will be in a wheelchair, or that I will be anything else that people associate with MS.  I am ME.  I have the MonSter, but it doesn’t have ME. I am going to release this MonSter so that I can continue to help others see that just because the doctor says you have MS doesn’t mean you have to give up your life.  And for that matter, any disease or problem.  How many times have you heard ‘mind over matter’?  Or of people walking into the doctor’s office to tell him/her, “See I told you I would walk again, you didn’t think so, but here I am.”

It is YOUR life, don’t let the MonSter or any other diagnosis tell you otherwise.   Live it and show others how to live it!!



Have you ever thought to yourself “Why is this happening to me?” I have plenty of times, but as I sort out in my mind, I realize that everything happens for a reason- good and bad. If bad things are happening to me and as I dissect why, sometimes I realize that I am putting myself in those situations with the people that I surround myself with. From there I have choices and changes to make. And if you find yourself constantly in a state of drama, you are the one in control of that, you can fix it by not allowing yourself to continue with the root cause. Sometimes they are tough choices, but if you want to move forward in a positive direction, you HAVE to make the decision and be committed to following through. And sometimes we have to make changes within ourselves, first and foremost, to BELIEVE we deserve better. Instead of wondering why me you need to suck it up and move towards a more positive environment.

Ever wondered why people act the way they do? I have plenty of times! I’ve also wondered, “how in the world am I going to progress forward through this, maybe I could give up.” But guess what? I am way too stubborn and I have grown up with a variety of family members showing me that you just can’t give up, you have to keep going. My Grandpa had diabetes and had his leg amputated below the knee. What was he doing the day after he was released? Up on the garage roof making repairs. Maybe wasn’t the safest thing to do, but he knew it needed done and he wasn’t going to let his missing leg stop him. He fought several more toes on his good foot being amputated, but he kept going, kept walking and doing household activities. Sometimes I think that we get too involved in things we can’t control and let it change our perception of what we can accomplish. The truth is that we are our own obstacles sometimes. No, it wasn’t exactly the best thing for him to be on the roof, but he wasn’t going to let that obstacle he couldn’t control dictate how he lived his life. He greeted life with a positive, can do attitude and he survived many obstacles that another person may have let take over their life.

If you are a parent like I am, you have kids watching how you react. Whether I like it or not, I tell myself I HAVE to suck it up and deal with it and move on! My ‘why’ or my motivation is just that, to put forth a never say quit attitude to my kids. I am determined to do all within my power to instill those same values and strong work ethic that I have. Basically, you never know what life has in store next and if you haven’t dealt with previous issues and are sulking, you may just miss the beauty of nature changing around you. You are here for great things, believe it, see it, move towards it. Life is far too short to relinquish control and waste time sulking. Get out there and move towards the life you want. 🙂