Tag Archives: moving

New Chapters, Stress and Looking Forward

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So, everything was going as normal… I loved the challenges of my job and especially the team that I worked with every day. Then my husband got offered another job with the same company an hour and a half away from our house. This meant relocation – to a new town – changing houses, changing doctors, changing schools, changing jobs, changing everything in life that I knew.

The first step was starting the process of finding myself a job in the new location. I am very thankful to work for a company, the same as my husband, that will assist in finding a job in the new area. This meant updating my resume – it may be horrible, but I don’t keep it up to date – if I like my job, why would I be ready to leave at a moments notice? So, I put my name out there, used my networking contacts and got the ball rolling. Now, the stress of hoping that in a volatile economy that I will be employed. All at the same time as house hunting – which is very difficult to commit when you don’t know where you will work or if you will have an income. Then putting the forces in place to start finding my replacement. I did not want to leave my team uncovered. Luckily, it went very quickly and I found a better than I could have even imagined replacement for myself. She is going to do even more things with that role and that in and of itself, helped me to be able to walk away from that desk. Thank God for her!

Second step, get our house on the market. We had grandiose plans in store for our house but didn’t implement so we were behind the 8 ball at that point. All the rooms were painted in neutral colors. Carpeting was replaced in the living room and downstairs guest bedroom. Cleaning was done… Light fixtures changed out, Deck railing replaced, Deck painted, Roof replaced (luckily the shingles were already bought), driveway re-sealed, front porch railing removed, front doors painted, front porch floor painted with epoxy, landscaping repaired and spruced up. It was an ordeal and a very labor intensive one at that. The house went on the market, finally. Now, if it would have just sold! At this point, we have one more week before we can take the option of the relocation company to purchase, so it is looking as if they will be the new homeowners.

Then, I found a job – similar position as I had, but with a little less responsibility. You know what? That was okay. The job I was leaving was a new position when I took it and I made it into a great responsibility with loads of opportunity and I could do that same thing again. It is all in the power of what you put your mind to. If you think your job is a rotten apple, then you are going to smell like one. For me, titles mean nothing and job descriptions just give you a minimum guideline – you can always do more, you can always learn more. Even with this positive attitude, it was still very hard to be in an admin assistant role. After all, people stop by your desk looking for conference rooms on your first day. My response was to chuckle and look at the person next to me, explain to the person that I was lucky to find my desk this morning since I am new, so let’s ask an expert. It was a good way to break the ice with new people. And I was fortunate enough to find a few faces that I already knew – they had moved before me. A few, out of a couple thousand, but those few faces mean a lot!

After looking at about 30 homes in the new location and getting input from co-workers, we found the best school for our son and a home to reside in. We were not going to be able to move close enough to the first day of school, so that meant that we had to hotel it for a little bit. The outside dogs were put into a kennel and we were fortunate enough to find a hotel that would accept our little Coco. After three weeks of hotel living, we finally got to move into our new house – let the unpacking festivities begin!

We have moved many times, but really, not more than 2 while I worked full time. As I get older, I realize how much more tired I am and I am not really for sure if it is just the age, or if some of the fatigue is not my MS rearing its ugly head. But, I will not be stopped, I keep going. I have to. I would like nothing more than to lay in bed and rest for a week, but I know that if I do, I will be even more tired when that week is over – I have to keep moving, I have to keep going otherwise, I am afraid that my body will forget how to thrive. Even better, it would be great to have the powers of Samantha from Bewitched or Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie and be able to have everything in its place at the snap, but I have not been able to find that magical ability, and that is probably best as we only learn and grow through these challenges.

Most stressful is the fact that our four pack family is now a three pack. My daughter had moved out a year before we moved, but only 2 miles down the road. With her school and work schedules, we rarely saw her even then in the short distance and this mom’s heart is weighing heavy because she knows that those times she sees her are going to be even fewer and farther between. The phone calls are a blessing, but just not the same… coupled with the fact that the boyfriend she moved in with does not care for us so much that he will not allow us in their house. I have no idea what her living situation is and while this bothered me two miles down the road, it is even worse now because I don’t see her in passing on the road, in the drive thru at McDonald’s (where she works), I only have texts, Facebook and phone calls to go on. It also brings an interesting perspective as it will be difficult to visit her, since we can’t visit her home. Since our family is spread out, for the majority south of where we originally lived, there is not a happy meeting ground. I will just have to wait for holidays or for her to visit us. In finding herself in her adult life, the time for parents is not nearly as frequent as when she was becoming a teenager.

My parents lived an hour and a half from us, but now a little over 3 hours – not quite the quick drive down to visit anymore. And with the MS, driving really tires me. I have not attempted to drive it, but know that when the house is in order and I am more comfortable with my setting that energy will come back a little and I will be more brave to attempt the trip.

Unpacking all this stuff really makes it harder. You find old treasures and trinkets that you had long since forgotten about. You reminisce about those times and the feelings of joy rush back, only to be dismantled by remembering that you are now farther away and those number of those memories will be harder to create.

All in all, I like my new town. There are more options of things to do, places to go, and shopping. It is just a matter of finding my way there. Today, I am very thankful my GPS has unlimited usage. Moving close to cold weather setting in and so much to do, there hasn’t been much time to get out and meet people, or really even to get out of the house. I really wish that I could get that magical power to snap my fingers or wave a wand and be completely settled in, no cardboard, no piles of stuff to be put away… I know I will have this done by Spring and believe me, I will be out and about then! It will be time to explore. Until then, I just have to quietly deal with my frustrations of being overwhelmed with all the newness of my surroundings… take joy in the blessings of my health, my job, my family I get to live with and those times I get to visit the family and friends that I don’t live with and my little Coco…

Ok, the pity party is over… time to bust to move on some boxes.

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