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Like Sands in the Hourglass

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Like Sands in the Hourglass

I never was a fan of Days of our Lives, but I think that just about everyone thinks of that show when they hear the title of this post. During this move and unpacking box after what seems like never ending box, I have ran across so many things that have really brought back memories for me. Some of those memories had been buried by the sands of time.

I ran across a poem enitled, “Grandpa”. It was printed on a poster board and colored. I recalled this from hanging on the wall of my room when I lived with my parents. I read the poem and chills ran down my spine. I couldn’t remember if this was something that I wrote? As I got closer to the end of the poem, I realized that it just didn’t fit the timeline of my life. At the end, I had quoted the author, so I knew then that I had simply read the poem and identified with it. It’s funny how something that is written can invoke such feeling in your soul that you can actually live the words. The poem is about a girl who walks along the beach remembering her grandfather, who had passed. I have never walked along any beach with either of my grandfathers, but as my paternal grandfather passed away when I was only 6, he and I went many places in my imagination.

I ran across hundreds of old pictures of my family and friends. Even those invoked a mixture of feelings from within my heart. Happiness as I ran across pictures of my children as they were just little toddlers, while at the same time sadness, as those days passed way to quickly! Pictures and momentos of places we had traveled as a family, things we had done, and all the wonderful birthdays and celebrations we had together. Pride as I rifled through their report cards, sorrow that those days of receiving report cards for them are almost coming to an end. My daughter graduated high school over a year ago, my son only has 1 1/2 years left before he graduates. Again, the time just flies by far too quickly.

As I think about how they have grown, I reflect back on my marriage – we will celebrate 20 years in February. What a milestone. So much change has happened in the last two decades, it really just blows my mind at what we have accomplished. From living on bread crumbs raising babies, to realizing we needed to improve ourselves through higher education, supporting each other as we each went back individually for our bachelor’s degrees and together as we both studied for our master’s degrees. It wasn’t easy and that sure didn’t seem quick, but we jumped through the fire and over that candlestick. And through that hardship, we instilled in our children the importance of following through with college directly after high school to pursue their career goals. It is too hard, too much time away from your family when you attempt it backwards.

Through these 20 years, we have endured happy times – the birth of both of our children and, sadly, the loss of many wonderful family members. After I think of all these times, both happy and sad, I look at all the blessings of people – family, friends, and co-workers; careers – we both have jobs that we thoroughly enjoy; accomplishments – awards, anniversaries, pride, and love. We have been blessed with reliable transportation (I sure hope that doesn’t backfire on me tomorrow – literally), three dogs (even though 2 are a little bit weird), a house… no wait… a home. So many blessings that over run my heart with joy so that the only thing I can do is to be thankful for everything in the last 20 years. Every single occurrence has happened for a reason by some divine force and has created the person that I am today. I know that the future holds many more happy and, unfortunately, sad times ahead for me. I will embrace each one, as I know that they are going to make an impact on me. The impact, it gives will truly be up to me and how I react to the situation. I can play a victim, or I can be a heroine. I won’t come out and directly tell you which one I will do, but I will give you a hint… I am never going to give in, I will fight with everything I have… I am no victim. (Ok, so maybe that was more than just a hint. In case you didn’t read between the lines, I could not knowingly lead you into the rest of your life wondering which one I would use.) You have to make your own destiny my friends, If it is to be, it is up to ME! And I will leave this poem that I found in my grandmother’s things after she passed away with you, as I felt that it really sums up how this dance down memory lane has made me feel. 🙂

Another Blessed Day

Each night before I close my eyes…and into dreamland stray…I thank my God for giving me….another blessed day… it matters not what came to be … or how toilsome the hours… I place each bygone day among… my treasured field of flowers.. whatever comes or goes I know… God does it for the best… and so I must be equal to… the weight of heartache’s test…for life on earth is just a breath…a fleeting plaintive sigh…a prelude to eternity… that swiftly passes by.. So I am more than grateful for…each day God lets me live…in silent prayer I fall asleep…may God my sins forgive.

I wish each of you a blessed day.

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