Tag Archives: snow

When a Hug Just Isn’t a Hug


Ok, so…. It was 50 degrees the first three days of last week. Then on Thursday, it dropped to 10, started snowing and blowing. As any other weekday, I was getting ready for work and my son went out to feed and water his dogs as usual. He returned and hastily informed me that his dog, Beau was loose. He had put the other outside dog, Daisy, Beau’s sister, in her cage in the garage to keep her warm, which is where Beau would have went had he not broken his chain and took off for exploration. Beau breaks/shreds his chain at least every 3 months, and they are heavy duty chains, well, more like metal ropes, so we have spares on hand. (After several 3 am trips to Wal-Mart to purchase a new chain, we recognized this was going to be an ongoing issue). It was dark outside and, of course, the back porch light was burnt out and we couldn’t find the heavy duty flashlight. Brian was worried about his dog, he knew it was cold and feared he would get lost or worse. He wanted to find him, I could see the anxiety building. I told him to get on the school bus and I would look for Beau before I went to work. Thinking I would go outside and find him quickly…. Ha ha. So, I drove around the neighborhood, no sign of Beau. I drove to work to fetch (pun intended, ha ha) my laptop so I could sit at the dining room table and watch for him to return. An hour later, I was back in the neighborhood driving around looking for any sign of Beau. Nothing. I walked around the yard, yelling his name, still nothing. I could hear dogs barking, which led me to believe he was nearby being social. The wind had died down and the sun was warming things up a bit, so I came up with a plan to lure Beau back. I put Daisy outside on her chain. Then I put Beau’s food in his bowl along with a BIG rawhide bone Santa left for him and went back inside to start working. Not even 40 minutes later, I looked out and saw Beau jumping around, playing with Daisy, as if he was taunting her because he was off gallivanting around. I quickly grabbed my coat and boots and went to reconnect Beau. Much to my surprise, he came to me (my outside dogs are very skiddish). I rubbed him behind his ears, brushed the icicles off his fur and asked him, “So beau beau, did you have fun gallivanting around?” and I am not kidding you, if he could talk, he would have said, “YA!! It was a blast and a half!!” then he led me to his circle to be chained up…. I guess he just had some wild oats to sew.

All I can say is I am glad he is back, but he could have picked one of those 50 degree days to sew his oats. It would have made it much more enjoyable to walk outside looking for him. When my son came home from school, he busted in the door and immediately asked me if I found his dog. I said yes that Beau came back to tell Daisy about his adventure. He said, “Thank God!” And then, he walked over and gave me a hug and said a very heart felt “Thank you”. And he’s not a hugger, with the Asperger’s Syndrome, (high functioning Autism), picking up on those social cues and showing affection are HUGE. The last time he voluntarily gave me a hug was at the cemetery after my grandmothers funeral. Another time the hug was unexpected, but very needed and welcomed. So, even though I was aggravated beyond all get out to miss work and tromp around in the cold and snow, it was worth it for the hug from my son. Parenting is hard with any child, but with parenting an Aspie it can be SO rewarding in moments like this, that you haven’t experienced since they were toddlers and now are a teenager (when parents get cooties)…

I remember so vividly a time we went to visit my mother-in-law (Nana), Brian was about 2 1/2-3 years old. We got out of the car at the end of the driveway and Nana was standing near the front door. Brian got out of the car and ran towards her with his arms out yelling ‘NANA’ and she put her arms out ready to give him a big old hug. But, he stopped just shy of the hug, and with a little wave, said, “hi”. It was so funny, because everyone thought he was going to jump up and give a huge hug, but settled for a wave of the hand and hi.

So, you can see why the hug was so special. I will cherish the memory forever and not just the hug, but the fact that he is maturing and picking up on those social cues…. ❤